Balanced Mindset,  Motherhood

To the Mom Who Feels Like a “Hot Mess”

What comes to mind when you think of a “hot mess” mom? I picture a woman with a baby on her hip, cheerios stuck to her shirt, shouting at her kids while they grab items off the grocery store shelf.  Sometimes, I am that mom.  My guess is, so are you.

Maybe you feel like you’re a hot mess, and most of the moms around you aren’t. Do you feel like everyone has something figured out that you don’t? That everyone else seems to know how to handle their kids, get to events on time, keep their houses spotless, and keep their calm?

I know I’ve felt that way.

As moms, we tend to be hard on ourselves. We see what everyone else is doing right, but we only see what we do wrong. (For more on those topics, check out my posts “Why You Should Ditch the Mom Guilt” and “How to Quit Comparing Yourself to Others.”

The Hot Mess Mom vs the Got-It-All-Together Mom

hot mess mom vs got it all together mom (1)

Some days you might see me and think, “She looks like she has it all together.”

Other days you might see me and think, “Oh goodness, someone get that woman some coffee and a hairbrush.”

Some days I feel “well and balanced.” Some days I feel like a hot mess. The fact is, I’m both.

I’m chronically late.
I overthink.
I’m super self-conscious.
I’m shy.
I’m forgetful.
I’m easily distracted.
I’m on my phone too much.
I emotionally eat.
I fall short daily.

I also trust and love God.
I’m a good mom.
I exercise regularly.
I have finally found a successful work/life balance.
I juggle lots of balls and somehow haven’t dropped any yet (although I have tossed some in the trash)
I’m always trying to get better.

It’s easy to see ourselves (and others) as one or the other. The “got-it-all-together mom” or the “hot mess mom.” The truth is, none of us are either one. We are both. We all have a long list of faults and we all have a long list of strengths. We don’t fit into neat little categories.

No one has it “all together.” We all doubt ourselves, we all wonder if we should be doing better, and we all have areas of our lives we wish we could change.

Check out my related post: 10 Habits that Keep Me Well and Balanced as a Mom

How We Think of Ourselves


Personally, my “hot mess-ness” makes me laugh most of the time. I can laugh as I rush out the door late for the third time this week because this is the season of life I’m in. It’s chaotic. Things happen that are out of my control.

Sometimes,  things are in my control and I make mistakes.  I forget the important paper for the school or I leave the diaper bag on the kitchen counter. Sometimes, those things make me feel terrible— like I’m failing as a mom and wife.

to the mom who feels like a hot mess (2)


If it upsets you, STOP thinking of yourself as a hot mess. See yourself as you are— a woman who is imperfect, but loving.  A woman who falls short, but tries to do better. A woman who needs help sometimes, but never gives up. A woman who loves her family and would do anything for them.

Give yourself a little grace, Momma. And… (cough cough) give it to others around you too. We’re all struggling through the mess here. BUT…we got this! 

If you were encouraged by this, join my newly launched Facebook group and let’s connect! The Well and Balanced Mom Group

Also, check out my FREE 5-day life coaching course “Finding Wellness and Balance as a Mom!” You can sign up here.

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