And yet, I feel contentment, knowing that I have relished this time and cherished so many special moments. When life threatened to distract me, I replied swiftly “No, not right now, Life. I have more important things to do.”
I am equally excited and filled with anticipation for this next season. My first daughter will begin kindergarten and spend five whole mornings per week away from home. My second will be on her own in preschool for the first time and I can’t wait to see her flourish in that space. I’m excited to hear about how their days went, what they learned, about the new friends they made. I’m ready to nurse the boo-boos and mend the hurt feelings. And I’m scared, of course. Every day that I drop these girls off somewhere, it’s as if I’m leaving behind the most precious part of myself that I need to protect with all my might.
But that’s what this next season calls for— release and growth. I feel prepared and unprepared all at once. That’s parenthood and that’s life, right? It’s beautiful and terrifying and utterly confusing. I’m choosing to greet this season with gratitude for all that I have, for all that’s to come, and for all that I have enjoyed so much that it’s so very difficult to let go. As Winnie the Pooh says, “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”
So for now, “Goodbye, Summer. Goodbye, Early Motherhood. Goodbye easy mornings, no-where-to-be afternoons, and relaxed evenings. Hello, Fall. Hello, bus stops and homework and parent-teacher conferences. Hello, routine, structure, and responsibility. Hello, new friends, new experiences, new challenges.”
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