Do you like tea? Personally, I prefer coffee. That doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with tea— I just don’t like it.
Like tea, you’re not for everyone. That’s meant to be good news. You’re not meant to please everyone. Maybe you’ve been making every effort to make everyone like you, and yet, there are still people who don’t.
I get it. I tend to be a people pleaser myself.
Sometimes I get tempted to “conform” to the people I’m around or change a post on social media because “What will people THINK?!” but I’m slowly getting over it.
This might be a cliché, but like many clichés, it rings true: “It’s better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for who you are not.”
Whenever you change who you are—your opinions, your likes and dislikes, your feelings— to conform to those around you, you aren’t making true connections. You aren’t getting people to like you for who you truly are— you’re getting them to like you for who they think you are. You may succeed at fitting in, but you’ll never feel truly connected in those relationships.
It’s only when you allow yourself to be YOU, that you’ll feel connected to others and form real friendships. That vulnerability can be scary. If you give someone a chance to see you and like you as you are, then you are also giving them a chance to not like you for who you really are.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve started caring less about what people think, and more about who I really am. It’s more important that I try to be a good person than if others think I am one. It’s also more important that I present myself as I truly am, and not as I think people want me to be.
That being said, I believe we should also try to live in harmony with the others around us. We live in a tense time, where social and political issues seem to be constantly dividing us. We may disagree with one another, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be kind. It doesn’t mean we can’t be loving, and it doesn’t mean we can’t be connected.
Romans 12:18 says “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” As far as it depends on you. It’s that telling? The verse doesn’t say, “Live at peace with everyone.” If that was our mission, we’d be forever struggling, because we can’t control how others perceive us.
Fortunately for us, we are instructed only to do what we can successfully do. We can love others, despite different views. We can let our opinions and beliefs be known in a respectful way. We can help people And still, no matter what, some people will have a problem with us. We won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but –thank the Lord— we aren’t meant to be. ♥
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